Colton’s diagnosis gave us a new lens to how we would live our lives. Although it did not change who my son is, it allowed us to educate ourselves to be better for him. We learned to think differently. We learned to plan differently. Most importantly, we learned to live differently. Ultimately, different was now our normal and that was totally okay!
When you have a child with special needs, you feel like you always have to be on. Almost as if you are one step ahead and ready to respond to whatever situation arises. As time goes on, we have learned a lot and are still learning. I can assure you that the learning will never end.
As we move through the motions of day to day- morning school, afternoon school, OT and speech- every minute is accounted for. It is routine. It is clockwork. It works. But what happens when those daily routines take a break? Holiday vacations and lots of time where the daily routine is different. For a child that needs structure, planning is instrumental.
For me Halloween was an eye opener. I typically have family at my house for a pre-trick or treating party. I planned activities to create a non-overstimulating environment to allow a calm evening for everyone that attended, particularly my little guy. Those activities included pumpkin painting and even pumpkin pizza making. (A huge hit…thanks to Rocco’s Off Wooster in Guilford, CT) This allowed for everyone to be engaged in fun activities that were meaningful and educational.
Truthfully, I prepared myself to have to cut the night short because it would be too overstimulating for him.
I stressed about him staying with our group and not darting out into the road. I was ready to have to explain that he may not be able to say anything as we approached houses and dug his hand in the candy bowl.
As our group started our night, I literally took a deep breath and said a little prayer. Someone up there heard me loud and clear!
Colt was amazing. We made it to about 12 houses. He walked with our group, even leading the way sometimes. He patiently waited at each door. I heard his little voice say a few ‘trick tricks’ and lots of ‘thank yous’. For a child that has been non-verbal for the past four years, this was huge. There was not one tear. Not one stressful moment. He had the biggest smile ear to ear.
My favorite was the last house. We thought the lights were on. We knocked, rang the door bell and waited. Nothing. My daughter knocked once more. Waited and again nothing. I was ready for the meltdown. It was coming. I felt it. His little face looked up at me with those big eyes and said ‘oops, sorry’…. He turned and walked down the stairs with his bucket of candy and we walked home.
As we walked, I snapped this picture. I needed to remember this night and this moment. It will always be a favorite memory of mine. My guy and I have worked very hard to get to this point and it couldn’t have been more perfect.
As we approach the bigger holidays, I started to realize that the fun holiday activities that you see other families doing may not work for our family. So we shift. We adjust and more importantly, we create our own fun activities and traditions!
My son is not a fan of Santa but he LOVES the Grinch! So instead of a picture with Santa, we are planning for the Grinch to visit our house for a fun photo opportunity. This was something we did at Easter time and it provided an inclusive holiday experience for my son in an environment that he was comfortable in.
In our activities from Halloween, I learned my son has an interest in preparing foods and I also know that food fosters language for him. Although we have not approached Christmas Eve, I plan to try something new this year. Instead of purchasing Santa’s treats, we are going to attempt to make them. Cookies and donuts are some of my son’s favorite words so this will be the perfect time to encourage him with an activity that can help to build life skills, promote language use and start a new family tradition that we all can look forward to!
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Beautiful. Thank you for sharing! I hope you and your son have a wonderful holiday!
Thank you very much! Same to you and your family!
Ashley, you are a wonderful Mom. You always put your children first and with you and Josh as parent’s your children will THRIVE!! So very proud of you. I knew when you were growing up you were destined for great things!! ❤️
Thank you so much Cindy! That means so much!
Beautifully said Ashley. I am sure your blog will help so many others navigating autism. Love and hugs, Karen
Thanks! Love you!
Ashley, you are an awesome mom. I have watched Lea and Colt grow. She is the best sister he could have ever had. Her dance abilities have gone to new heights. And her sweet voice. And Colton, the words are endless. When he spells things with blocks or letters from memory I just smile so big. I couldn’t spell some of those words. He must have a photographic memory. His speaking is so precious and his smile and giggle are contagious. Thank you for giving him a safe environment to grow up in and giving him his best life. God entrusted you with some wonderful children to raise. He knew you could do it. Papaw would be so proud.
Tricia, thank you so much! Papaw taught me so much and certainly prepared out family for life with Colt!
Love to you both.
Love to you as well. Thank you for reading!
Amazing read. Thank you for writing this.
SO great to hear! Thanks for reading!
Thank you very much!
Leigha and Colton are so lucky to have you ❤️ I love this so proud of you xoxox
Things happen for a reason ,This story was beautiful written and you will lead colton to the road ahead . You and your family will be right behind Colton ! That smile makes u live for your kids .