My daughter Adalyn was diagnosed with Autism at age 2. She uses an AAC Device to communicate. Ady also uses some sign language and limited verbal language to communicate. She has two siblings: Lincoln, her brother, who is 7 years old and Everly her sister, who is 5 years old.
I’ve always been very grateful that she has siblings. We’re a team. I want them to always be there for each other. Recently I asked them how they felt about having a sister who has autism? We talk about it especially when there are teachable moments. Lincoln said, “I have a sister, but she doesn’t talk.” I responded, “She talks when she wants to and she’s learning and working really hard.” Lincoln continued, “Did she talk when she was little?” I explained that when she was younger she had some words and would look at books every night and had words to go with those books and then she lost them. That is how we knew that she needed help. I told him that’s why we work so hard every day, to help her to do things that she’s having difficulty doing, like communicating.
We work every day even after Ady’s had a long day at school or I’ve had a long day at work. It’s part of our life and our daily routine. I never want it to take away from time as a family. I try to make sure her siblings are included in everything.
Ady’s sister Everly loves helping her during her ABA sessions. We joke and tell her she is a mini BCBA. Something like playing board games can be very challenging for Adalyn. It’s difficult for her to sit for periods of time and to take turns, but we’ve been working very hard at it. Lincoln, her brother loves setting up the games and teaching her how to play. They both amaze me with her kindness and patience towards her sister. I don’t know how I’d feel as a kid trying to understand autism, but maybe it’s not all about understanding but more about acceptance.
Ady also has sensory processing disorder which causes her to show behaviors that aren’t typical to her peers. Certain things have gotten easier and more predictable, but overall behaviors and communication have always been a challenge.
If Ady’s having a rough day or having a difficult time Evy says, “Don’t worry Mom, it’s just her little autism.” In the sweetest little voice. Before bed they always make sure to say goodnight to Ady. Even if they don’t get a response back. We have a sign for kiss where we put our finger up to our mouth and then she does it in response.
I love that they have things they enjoy doing together. Ady will always prefer to be outside and drawn to nature.
Family is everything. I want them to be able to say, “That is my sister”, and feel at ease talking about her and not be embarrassed to talk about autism. She’s more than just her autism. Adalyn is a beautiful, smart little girl, who just wants to be accepted like any other child. Even though it’s something that makes her different, it doesn’t define her. Her personality and the way she treats others show that.
Ady is very content looking out the window or sitting in her room by herself. I want her to feel loved and wanted. I talk to her just as I would her siblings. Just because she doesn’t respond consistently doesn’t mean she doesn’t hear or understand. Whether it’s telling her goodnight or I love you, we make sure we tell her every day.
As she gets older I hope their bond grows stronger and that they’ll always want to hold hands and get a scoop of ice cream together. I hope they will be her forever friends.
Her siblings have a unique understanding of Ady’s autism. If they don’t understand something she does, they now they can ask me about it. They know that there are things that she has trouble communicating and certain things they can do that she is not able to do yet, but she’s trying. I hope that as they grow and change that their relationship will grow too. I hope that they’ll be there for her and show her kindness. I hope when they have opportunities to help other children learn about autism that they take those opportunities because the more we understand and bring light to the subject the more acceptance there will be.
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Love this so much! Such amazing testament to you!
Thank you! I love seeing them grow and bond together. As an Autism Mom I worried that all of my time and focus would be on Ady and her therapies, but I realized as she’s gotten older that her brother and sister love being a part of it too but and it’s just been an amazing process. It’s helped to mold them into more patient and empathetic individuals.
My favorite response I have seen from Everly has been her little growl, telling Adalyn how “stinkin cute” she is and pinching her cheek. <3