So when disruptive behaviors occur in public, what should you do?
1. Pick your battles.
So maybe on the city bus isn’t the most ideal time to decide to implement an ignoring intervention for your students screaming and swearing behavior. When you are in a public place you cannot control all the variables as much as you can in your home or classroom. It might be necessary to “give in” when you normally wouldn’t. Safety is of upmost importance so keeping everyone calm is essential here.
2. Take a deep breath before you act.
I am admittedly not great in a crisis. And when we are in a location that adds even more unpredictability to an already stressful situation – that can be enough to put me over the edge. I consciously tell myself to stop and count to 3 in my head and take a deep breath or two. In a crisis situation every second seems critical – but trust me – taking those few moments to collect yourself is worth it in the long run. You are much more likely to make a better choice when you are more focused.
3. If possible, try to relocate.
When you are in public and your child or student is getting upset, try to find a safe or quiet place for him to calm down. Go to the less busy toiletry aisle of the grocery store, head to the bathroom, or walk outside for a moment. Sometimes a change in scenery is enough to provide some calming energy.
4. Don’t worry what other people think.
Half of the anxiety of a major disruption occurring in the community is worrying what everyone will think. A few years ago, one of my students had a major meltdown in Subway. A million thoughts swirled through my head and a lot of those involved what everyone else thought about me and my student. I didn’t want anyone to think my student was being a brat, I didn’t want anyone to think I was being a horrible teacher, etc. Honestly, as hard as it is – let it go. Spend your energy worrying about how to fix the situation.
Reflect and Learn
- Planning for the Fall: Part 4 and 5 – Visually Structured Tasks and Routines - January 30, 2026
- Using TAH Curriculum for Homeschooling from a Homeschooling Parent - September 10, 2022
- Using The Autism Helper Curriculum for Homeschool - August 8, 2022
10 Responses
These are great! Do you have any suggestions for physically aggressive students that may bite, pinch, or grab at strangers? I’ve had this happen once (and the parents have had it happen several times) and I’d love to give them some better advice!
Is there something about strangers specifically that causes this behavior? Does he do this it school too? Maybe something about the novelty and reaction from a new person? I would start with super quick & fast trips. Maybe just a walk or too a local store where there will be minimal interactions with other people. And always make sure he is working for something while on the trip. I think sometimes we think – but the trip is the reward but for some of our kids – the trip is hard work! So maybe bring some reinforcers with you and every short interval that he doesn’t engage in those behaviors he gets the reinforcer (edible or listening to music on an iPod – something easily transportable). Hope this helps!
Sometimes when I notice a student doing something he shouldn’t be doing, instead of running in and taking something away, or telling the student to move to another location, etc., I will watch and try to figure out a way to ease him out of the situation I don’t want him in, and I do this to keep from causing an escalation in behavior. Yet, if another person: teacher, para, etc. sees the student they will jump in and demand he stop, move, etc., and then there we have it a “situation” , and then behind their reaction is the comment “he shouldn’t be doing that”, like I didn’t know he shouldn’t be doing that. I don’t like having to explain myself to others, but if I take a few seconds to observe the situation I more than likely can make changes that are needed without provoking the student, but it can be hard when others step in and demand something from the student before I have a chance to take care of it. It can be trying sometimes working in classrooms where other adults want everything just so in the classroom. I am very flexible and try to bend in all different ways to keep situations from happening, but it can be tiring trying to stay ahead of a student to keep him from doing something that may upset the other adults in the room.
Hi Jacquelyn – We have had similar situations occur at the school I work in and it can be tough. People want to help, and sometimes stepping in doesn’t actually help as much as intended. I am a support person, and sometimes I was actually making the situation worse. We had a discussion about it and decided on some really subtle signals (nods or head shakes) if the person dealing with the situation wanted help. If they did, the helper was there. If not, the helper would move away but be within helping distance (out of eyesight but within earshot). As always, communication is so key!
What can I do for a runner who loves to be chased (it becomes a game) on an outdoor field trip? I am more concerned about her running away in a public space where I could lose my visual. Or if she is running away from me and towards a moving vehicle (a train she wants to ride). I have a rule card I use in class and she is familiar with it. It worked beautifully for thenmajority of the trip, but not in this instance.
My autistic child is now 18. Dealing with behaviors was so much easier when he was a lift, carry, and remove from situations size. At 6 ft tall, I’m forced to wait it out. Last week he required blood work to diagnose an illness he’s had for a couple weeks. He decided that was the perfect time for a meltdown. He sat in the chair with his face covered and rocked and moaned for 53 minutes. A very long 53 minutes which I tried to patiently endure. At about 35 minutes in I stopped trying get him to move, stopped apologizing to the phlebotomist, shut the door, and just waited it out. At the end he simple stood up and walked out. (as if nothing had happened, mind you). It is so tough. I have 3rd-5th graders at school. I do a pretty good job of keeping behaviors in check and choosing my battles, but with my own I sometimes feel all my training and knowledge flies right out the window!!
Carla
Such a great point! Sometimes the more adults involved – the worse the situation becomes and the more escalated a student will become. With some teams I have worked with they had a very similar problem and we really worked on making such each adult (teacher, para) would ask the other adult, “Do you need help?” before stepping in. Not everyone always takes that well but it can help to make sure there aren’t constantly 4 adults trying to all help one situation. Thanks for brining this up. I think a lot of other teachers deal with this too.
Great suggestions, Melinda. I too have been trying to help in a situation before and thought, “Dang – I am really making it worse by being here right now.” So many of us are hard workers and we always want to help, help, help but sometimes staying away for a minute is the best help we can give. I love the idea of subtle signals and making sure to always keep communication going.
That is super scary. Is there a dedicated staff member that can be with her? Whenever safety is a concern like that I try to get as much staff as possible. Sometimes they will lend me someone from someone where else in the school. If it comes down to it and I am really worries about safety – I ask the parent to come. Not always ideal or an option but sometimes the safety risk gets too great.
Such a great point, Carla! With older students – there is no moving them or even attempting to provide physical prompts. I think waiting it out is a good way to handle it. It’s so challenging. I have a hard enough time following through on all of the interventions during the school day that I can’t even imagine how hard it is as a parent when it can happen anytime -when you are tired, hungry, busy, etc. You are a rockstar!! Your son is lucky to have you 🙂