I was recently prepping one of my Professional Development Sessions – Behavior Change: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly – it brought up a great blog topic – the Ugly. When I say Ugly, I mean those situations that occur when all bets are off. You know what has hit the fan and it’s all about just getting through the moment. We aren’t worried about accidentally reinforcing an inappropriate behavior, we sure as heck aren’t worried about data, we are literally just trying to get to the next minute. One of these scenarios is when majorly disruptive behaviors occur in public. Whether you are a teacher on a community trip or a parent running some errands – there are times when these negative behaviors pop up in the places that we never quite thought possible.

So when disruptive behaviors occur in public, what should you do?

1. Pick your battles.

So maybe on the city bus isn’t the most ideal time to decide to implement an ignoring intervention for your students screaming and swearing behavior. When you are in a public place you cannot control all the variables as much as you can in your home or classroom. It might be necessary to “give in” when you normally wouldn’t. Safety is of upmost importance so keeping everyone calm is essential here.

2. Take a deep breath before you act.

I am admittedly not great in a crisis. And when we are in a location that adds even more unpredictability to an already stressful situation – that can be enough to put me over the edge. I consciously tell myself to stop and count to 3 in my head and take a deep breath or two. In a crisis situation every second seems critical – but trust me – taking those few moments to collect yourself is worth it in the long run. You are much more likely to make a better choice when you are more focused.

3. If possible, try to relocate.

When you are in public and your child or student is getting upset, try to find a safe or quiet place for him to calm down. Go to the less busy toiletry aisle of the grocery store, head to the bathroom, or walk outside for a moment. Sometimes a change in scenery is enough to provide some calming energy.

4. Don’t worry what other people think.

Half of the anxiety of a major disruption occurring in the community is worrying what everyone will think. A few years ago, one of my students had a major meltdown in Subway. A million thoughts swirled through my head and a lot of those involved what everyone else thought about me and my student. I didn’t want anyone to think my student was being a brat, I didn’t want anyone to think I was being a horrible teacher, etc. Honestly, as hard as it is – let it go. Spend your energy worrying about how to fix the situation.