Like I said, my goal is always to be real. Yes, I usually try to put my best foot forward and show you all the photos of my classroom looking pristine before the real world chaos gets involved. But I also want to share some of the behind the scenes drama. I want to be real about the fact that there are some days that I really hate my job. There are some days that I just don’t know what to do with some of my students. There are some days when I cry and feel completely alone. But even in those moments, I still love my students, hold my colleagues in high regard, admire the parents, and respect this field.
I’m just not a sugar coater. At all. Never been. Never will be. I definitely don’t like to be mean but I think it’s important to be honest and straightforward. And let’s be real. This job is hard. Like really hard. Like most of your friends couldn’t handle and you are a way, way tougher person than them hard. And that’s okay. You are a complete rockstar for not only choosing this career but excelling at it. And in these hard moments – it’s okay to recognize that it’s hard. Cut your self some slack and give yourself a break. When your classroom is completely destroyed after a long tantrum or you just realized you have some you-know-what that’s not yours on your forehead after a toiling disaster (true story), don’t be too hard on yourself. This is why this job is challenging. And if you think it’s all velcro and PECS pictures these moments are going to slap you in the face (sometimes literally).
I think it’s therapeutic and helpful to share these moments. It’s good to feel like we are not alone and we are in this together. It’s good to know someone else went through the same thing and survived. When I was a first year teacher, I felt horribly isolated. My bad days typically involved an injury or some dead sprints down the hallway and I felt like absolutely nobody understood that. I also felt like I was doing something wrong when I wasn’t. And then in the middle of the chaos, the vice principal would come in and ask me if I could decorate the bulletin board down the hallway and I would look at her like she had 5 heads. Really, lady? A bulletin board? I barely have time to go to bathroom much less cut out cute alphabet letters.
And sometimes sharing these hard times might be taken the wrong way. And if you’ve ever misinterpreted something I have said, I apologize. And I have unintentionally offended people. And I have felt horrified. Never in a million years would I want to offend an individual with autism, special ed teacher, or a special needs parent. You all are my people. You are my people who get it. And in being overly honest, I only want to be helpful. I only want to help you get over the hurdle so we can start tomorrow fresh and try again.
It ain’t always pretty and that’s okay!
It’s okay that you don’t have perfect visuals. It’s okay that you didn’t take any data this week (err… month). It’s okay that you still have Halloween crafts hanging in the hallways. It’s okay that you have Sunday night blues. And it’s okay to share it and talk about it and vent about. It doesn’t mean you love your kids or your job any less. It just means that you’re human.
So if you life feels like this – – -> sometimes, take a breath, take a walk, have some wine, eat some french fries, gab with your bestie, or shoot me an email. Get it out and move on. This job is hard and that’s why you are great at it!
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22 Responses
Thank you for sharing this. I really needed to hear it. This hasnt been a pretty week. I’m in the middle of state assessment and my grandmother dies and it’s just been a mess. Thank you for being real and honest.
Sasha, thank you so much for writing this post. After a tough few weeks on the job, this absolutely touched my heart.
This is the perfect day for this post!! and my worst day for the books:)
Monday is a new start
Beautifully said. Thank you.
Amen to that!! I teach CLM/life skills K-2 and my paras and I tend feel like we are isolated since no one else in our building really understands what we do (and some just don’t care. Sigh.) Some days I laugh. Some days I cry. Some days I sob. Some days I get big hugs from my kiddos. Some days I can run from the top of the building to the back playground in 1.2 seconds. Some days I get injured. Some days I run out of pull-ups and spare clothes at the wrong time. Some days I collect all the data I was supposed to and feel awesome. Some days I cry happy tears when a kiddo says a word for the first time. Some days my goal is just to make sure everyone makes it home at the end of the day. Some days I polish off an entire tray of cupcakes. Some days it’s quiet. Some days the screaming seems to never end. Some days parents have no problem telling me what I’m doing wrong. Some days they can’t even find the words to thank me the way they want to. Some days I feel like I’ll never finish writing those IEPs on time. Some days I win. Some days I lose. But every day, I know deep down in my heart that there isn’t anything else I’d rather do. These kiddos need us. ALL of us.
I visit your blog almost every day and when I read your stuff, I feel like you are inside my head. You GET IT. You are doing exactly what I am doing. It is refreshing to hear the honesty. Because it DEFINITELY is not always pretty!
Thank you for your honesty. These words spoke to my heart. I’m in a K-2 self contained and had my district coach fill my room with such judgment this week and it is from someone who just doesn’t understand what I do. Luckily my tears didn’t flow until after she left. Thank you for your encouragement and advice. I learn so much from your example.
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Our jobs are so consuming it can beyond challenging when we are also have personal issues. Hang in there!
I am happy to hear that (Not that you had a tough week but that this was meaningful to you). We have to stick together in this tough job!
SO TRUE! Means so much to me that you read my blog almost every day and find it helpful! That’s what keeps me going! Your students are so lucky have you. This job is definitely never boring, that’s for sure. No two days are ever quite the same. Thanks for sharing, Claire!
Omigosh sorry to hear that! There is nothing worse than something who doesn’t get passing judgment. Hang in there! You got this!
Thanks for reading, Holly!
No where to go but up, right!?
Thank you for sharing!!! I have not had a year quite like this year, and have found constant support through your site. Your words brought me to tears, to read what I have been thinking and feeling, to know that SOMEONE out there gets it. It’s indescribable.
Thank you.
WOW!! This post is exactly what I needed to hear today! Thank you for your honesty and reminding me of why I do what I do!! I’ve had more bad days than good days these past few months and ask myself daily, “How in the world can I keep going like this?” because I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally drained…….but I’m going to “Just Keep Swimming!” 🙂
I’m smiling/crying all at the same time, because I thought I was the only one who had these types of experiences (well, not the only one, but one of the few) and it gets lonely. And discouraging. It’s nice to know that “my people” are out there and going through the same things (lousy and fabulous) that I am!
I found your website while researching for a paper I am writing for Grad School. I love your honesty! I am going to school get my MAT in SPED and wondering if I’m crazy! Ha! I’m an IA now and have been for about three years. I’m older too so trying to keep up! I feel like this is my niche and just hope I can do it! Thanks for your info.!
Awww this comment made my day. IT WILL GET BETTER! I promise! This job can be isolating so I think it helps to know there are more of us out there dealing with the same issues!
Totally get it. Sometimes it’s just about getting through each hour (or minute!) at a time. Your students are lucky to have you!
Haha – lousy and fabulous! SO TRUE! This job can make us feel so alone sometimes. You got this! Keep at it 😉
You aren’t crazy! With the bad days comes the millions and millions of amazing little moments that make us know we are in the right place! Good luck in your future career!
I am so glad I found this post. It came at the right time after a very long year. Thank you.
I hope you enjoy your summer and you are able to find some time to refresh & recharge! Hopefully next year will be better 🙂